A letter to the Minister for Local Government

Dear Mr Healey,

In your capacity as Minister with responsibility for Local Government I know that you will be keeping on top of all the exciting developments brought to the county of Somerset through our joint venture company SouthWest One. Our current customer base provides a very impressive list which is also easy to remember being a round number. As you are aware we had hoped to have been granted the status of a Unitary Authority to manage the affairs of the county better and look after the thousands of frail and needy folk within it. Instead we have been trying to urge cooperation upon the District councils who would benefit so much from joining us in seeking procurement savings. For some extraordinary reason the District councils have shown less than outright enthusiasm. I feel it is now time for them to be told a few home truths. After your recent experiences with the judges on Strictly I know you will understand. I simply hope that when you get back the red boxes of Whitehall you can kick them all into touch.

With best wishes and good luck for the next few rounds,

Jill X

Staff Training Video

Bully for Him from Alan Jones on Vimeo.

My Hero

James Bond's Doppelganger from Alan Jones on Vimeo.

The name's Jones...Alan Jones

What inspired casting! Daniel Craig plays the enigmatic and energetic agent Alan Jones as he battles with all those nasty organisational terrorists and makes the hearts of the ladies flutter with unbridled excitement. I will be there when it opens in Somerset with Maltesers and Kleenex to marvel at the portrayal of a man who has become - for all of us in this great County - a living legend.

Oh how I would love to be his Moneypenny.
SOLACE of course is his trade union.
He's actually an Advisor on their Management Board
But with so many professional stresses and harrassing challenges it is a wonder that he ever has time for any sort of extra mural activity.

Open and Honest

I cannot and will not tolerate secrecy. It is morally wrong and offends against all my principles of Liberal Democracy. So when a sad misguided member of the public accused me of bringing my "office into disrepute by handling correspondence and questions with evasiveness, dishonesty, and incompetence and also improperly" it was entirely right that such unfounded allegations should be properly investigated. Indeed they were, by no less a body that Somerset's own fine and impartial Assessment Review Sub-Committee who found (as I confidently expected) that the overwhelming majority of the allegations were entirely without basis. In the nature of such things it is equally proper that the results should be fully published. There is a small box of chocolates left over from Alan's Dream Team Challenge which will be awarded to anyone who can find the relevant publication on our excellent website or anywhere else. I must congratulate our legal locust, Merc Slobodan-Gold upon his remarkable ability to turn transparency into invisibility.

Challenge of a lifetime!

I wish we could really offer such a large prize! Nevertheless our very own Somerset County Council Dream Team Challenge will provide something much more valuable for those who participate. It will prove what I have always recognised - that the staff are eager and willing to get stuck in, to gain detailed knowledge of all the Council's many functions and to work together effectively. Come on everybody, lets make waves and prove what we're all about. It is Alan's brainchild. The Dream Team Challenge is unique to local government and certain to be very good fun. And there's a small box of chocolates for every team. In other words one cherry fondant each. Register right now!

Come all ye faithful

A chance to meet a charming man in a charming Somerset town tomorrow when Frome plays host to dear Alan. Our much-loved Chief Executive will be on hand to answer all those niggling little queries you may have about disappearing investments and triumphant joint ventures with IBM. Make a date with the man who makes all our lives such a pleasure. It is not too late to book.