A Man of Principle

Admittedly he needed a gentle if persuasive push, but Stephen Gill finally rolled into my welcoming arms today. His membership form is still blank, but we're working on it. Stephen's skills were never in the written word. Some men of principle are like that. At least he stands up for what he believes in - a party that cares and shares and offers the people new hopeful rhetoric for genuine lasting change in these challenging times. Like us, Stephen believes in black and white, good and bad, fat and thin, open and shut, all at the same time. Like us Stephen wants a fairer Britain that is also fairly tough on crime, while being kind to criminals. Like us, Stephen fervently wants to save the planet. We are, of course, the only party committed to these lofty aspirations without telling anyone how we intend to do it. Stephen will be among friends. His measurements for open-toed sandals have already been taken and leatherette elbow patches are on order. He will soon be erecting a windmill in his yard in party colours.

Tart Comments

There has been a great deal of "spin" surrounding the trial of Cllr Paul Buchanan. As the "last woman standing" it would be inappropriate of me to make any personal comment. Instead I prefer to rely upon the eye-witness account of my trusted colleague, the former leader, Cathy Bakewell who attended all the hearings. Cllr Buchanan seems to believe that he has been exonerated by the Adjudication Panel. Cathy informs me that this was very definitely not the case. It may seem a puzzling anomoly of the system that no punishment or reprimand was given by the Adjudication Panel. After all if a Councillor breaks the Code of Conduct it would be reasonable to expect some kind of sentence. A rap over the knuckles, perhaps. A severe ticking off. Beatings with birch twigs, maybe. How about a public execution? But then Cllr Buchanan did not break the Code. Of course it is a matter of record that he was rude to certain members of staff. He always is. That's why we had to get rid of him and persuade Alan Jones to report him to the Standards Board on fifty different counts. Or was it sixty? Who cares. Its over now. We shut him up for two years and put an end to his political ambitions in Somerset. Now is not the time to dwell on these events. There are elections to be fought. Which means we have to be seen as thoroughly nice people rather than the ruthless ogres that we really are.

(nb: Hi you lot in the office, would you mind awfully checking this posting before you put it up on my blog just in case I've left anything damaging in about that bastard Buchanan)

A letter to the Minister for Local Government

Dear Mr Healey,

In your capacity as Minister with responsibility for Local Government I know that you will be keeping on top of all the exciting developments brought to the county of Somerset through our joint venture company SouthWest One. Our current customer base provides a very impressive list which is also easy to remember being a round number. As you are aware we had hoped to have been granted the status of a Unitary Authority to manage the affairs of the county better and look after the thousands of frail and needy folk within it. Instead we have been trying to urge cooperation upon the District councils who would benefit so much from joining us in seeking procurement savings. For some extraordinary reason the District councils have shown less than outright enthusiasm. I feel it is now time for them to be told a few home truths. After your recent experiences with the judges on Strictly I know you will understand. I simply hope that when you get back the red boxes of Whitehall you can kick them all into touch.

With best wishes and good luck for the next few rounds,

Jill X

Staff Training Video

Bully for Him from Alan Jones on Vimeo.

My Hero

James Bond's Doppelganger from Alan Jones on Vimeo.

The name's Jones...Alan Jones

What inspired casting! Daniel Craig plays the enigmatic and energetic agent Alan Jones as he battles with all those nasty organisational terrorists and makes the hearts of the ladies flutter with unbridled excitement. I will be there when it opens in Somerset with Maltesers and Kleenex to marvel at the portrayal of a man who has become - for all of us in this great County - a living legend.

Oh how I would love to be his Moneypenny.
SOLACE of course is his trade union.
He's actually an Advisor on their Management Board
But with so many professional stresses and harrassing challenges it is a wonder that he ever has time for any sort of extra mural activity.

Open and Honest

I cannot and will not tolerate secrecy. It is morally wrong and offends against all my principles of Liberal Democracy. So when a sad misguided member of the public accused me of bringing my "office into disrepute by handling correspondence and questions with evasiveness, dishonesty, and incompetence and also improperly" it was entirely right that such unfounded allegations should be properly investigated. Indeed they were, by no less a body that Somerset's own fine and impartial Assessment Review Sub-Committee who found (as I confidently expected) that the overwhelming majority of the allegations were entirely without basis. In the nature of such things it is equally proper that the results should be fully published. There is a small box of chocolates left over from Alan's Dream Team Challenge which will be awarded to anyone who can find the relevant publication on our excellent website or anywhere else. I must congratulate our legal locust, Merc Slobodan-Gold upon his remarkable ability to turn transparency into invisibility.